Uncomfortable Conversations With Children

Every once in a while I get an absolutely amazing question. The kind of question that reinstates my faith in humanity, that not everyone is an absolute idiot more concerned with their Call of Duty team and celebrity gossip. And then sometimes, I get questions like this:

"Can you help me find a book on mastroliberation?"

Bless small children. Seriously. Mastroliberation. Ha! That's not even a real thing! Maybe this kid means, 'Oh hey, I'm just looking for a book on how cultural revolutions work,' or 'I want to know how I can make music to change the world.' It's adorable! Mastroliber-ah. You are actually asking me for a book on masturbation. And you are... not nearly old enough to need to know anything about that... thing. That nobody does until they are much, much older. Like, retired old. Maybe you should ask your parents, or family member. Hell, ask anyone but me. Fuck! Masturbation!?

But here, a book on the human body. Have at it.

So this is actually what happened. I give the child a book on the human body and wish them luck in their quest for information. So the kid goes to sit down, and the mum is there, and she asks why he's reading a book on the human body instead of his usual fare. The kid solemnly informs her that he heard her talking about mastroliberation with his older brother and he was trying to find out what it was because he was worried that his older brother was really sick. So he asked the librarian for help and she had given him this book on the human body.

The mother, at this point comes over to me, and I am trying so hard not to laugh. Children! Holy Hosaphine Harriet, and Hubert. From the mouths of babes and all that tripe. Fortunately. Luckily? The mother was just as amused as I was about the situation, and asked if I could find any books on puberty. She also thanked me for giving him a book on the human body that was at a level her precocious kid could read and understand.

All in all, it was a good exchange.

I find it disturbing at the number of parents who actively work to shelter their children from any knowledge of the human body and how it changes and develops over the course of life from child, to teenager, and finally to adult. Puberty is probably the most terrifying change anyone ever goes through. I remember some friends of mine, way back when, that were completely terrified that they were dying the first time they got their periods. Completely rational fear by the way. If you have no idea why all of a sudden you are bleeding so much blood  and no one has ever told you that this is a perfectly normal phenomenon, and that it happens to all girls, you are going to lose your shit.

And although some parents make sure their children are reading books with safe themes, and safe characters, engage in safe activities (yawn), it is their right as a parent to decide what to expose their children too, to keep them safe, to keep them happy, for their own sanity.

I thought this mum was super freaking cool, for calmly accepting that her child had overheard something that he did not understand, and that he needed some sort of explanation to alleviate his fears that his big brother was going to freaking die, rather than it being an activity that is, from my understanding, a very regular thing for male teens. Again, hormones on the rampage. It's totally normal!

But it is also interesting the types of books that we have in the library discussing puberty, and sex, and growing up. We had a couple books in our catalogue that were from the early 90's that were the most ugly, useless wastes of paper that I have ever seen. Not really informative, and primarily full of the sort of nonsense made popular by Mean Girls: if you have sex, you'll get pregnant and DIE.

The newer books were more informative, though I will say this on them: they still fall under the category of: 'abstinence is best, wait for marriage to have sex'. You know, the standard left over perversions of a strong Protestant heritage. The same thinking that encourages adults to not talk about important information regarding their children's bodies and puberty and sex and all that other uncomfortable stuff that no one ever feels comfortable talking about, and kids will avoid talking to their parents about at any cost. The sex talk with my mother put me off carrots for months.

But I digress.

I espouse a parenting style that allows children to ask their parents anything that crosses their minds, rather than enforcing a policy that discourages questions. Also, this kid asked a librarian for help. That made my day. We are the holder and keepers of information goddammit! So, teach your spawn to recognize our power. Because we are cool, and we know stuff.